Koneko Do - Kätzchen wird erwachsen

Ps: I destroyed this last white mail letter in the end btw. I didn't burn it. No other ritual as well. I just put it to the heap of other waste I cleaned out to make space for ... For something better than death, to quote the Bremer Stadtmusikanten again, like almost a year ago: Do you know the Bremer Stadtmusikanten? Fairy tale. German. Famous sentence:

"Etwas besseres als den Tod finden wir überall."

I only heard this morning, that you recently met my kin. That you talked to them. I wasn't happy.
And I just deleted your last letter, the last mail, the one I just got. It freaked me out, yes. Do you know, that it is really over now for good? Do you know about Yatagarasu? I do not care, that you are thinking about me. I want to stop thinking about you. I would love to be not afraid anymore. I would love, not to notice, if I am not blamed, that it is not my fault, if Yatagarasu hurt me. By accident. While building Expedit (yes, the stupid Ikea shelf) & by doing so actually building expectations, that do not wait for fulfillment.
A tiny incident can still hurt so much. Because I would never have expected so much love & kindness. Because I still expect you. I do want that to stop. Do get out of my life.